Sunday, November 04, 2007

Sleep On A Problem

"Never go to bed angry" is one of the classic rule for many people. We're trained to talk, talk it out when there's a tension in the air because we want a resolution.

Now I tend to look at things from a broader prespective, after reading this article - by Susan Piver.

Heat of the moment discussions can spiral out of control quickly. "When you force an issue, you blab without having thought out what you need to say, which increases the chance that you'll both blurt out things you'll regret later" says Piver. And that's doubly true if you're tired. Sleeping on it first allows you to sort out what points are truly important. It also lets you decompress so that you'll be calmer and more rational when you make your case.

Just say, "I'm irritated and need time away." It can be smart to acquiesce if he's asking for a recess, too. Instead of insisting that you hash it out at that moment, schedule a time to readdress the issue. Saying "Let's talk about this tomorrow after work" makes it clear that you intend to revisit the conversation... and that he's / she's not off the hook.

Most arguments lose their bite if you take some time out to think them through. says Piver. "The next day, you'll be able to talk about it without so much anger. And you fight, and move on without discussing it to death."